all i ever wanted

guess who's back with a brandddd newww trackk?
hahah, me me me me! okay -.- so anywayssssss, for now ni la kan
i have got nothing, N O T H I N G to talk about. just only wishing
that someday, she'll stop talking about ehem ehem, FOR GOOD!
hah! geram akuuu. kau nak dia kau amik lah. aku tak perlukan jantan
macam dia. memang korang dua same je. isssshhhhh. hehhhhh,

i miss my cousins so much :(
Wayne, Andrea, Rayne, Alyssa, Lance, Maemay, Andy and others
my friends. old, new, near, far and so whatever. i want you people
noooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!



and to ehem ehem, here :

all day staring at the ceiling
making friends with shadows on my wall
all night hearing voices telling me
that I should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good for something
hold on. I'm feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown.
I don't know why I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell,
I know, right now you can't tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
and I know, right now you don't care but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how I used to be.
Me, talking to myself in public, dodging glances on the train
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper and it makes me think there must be something wrong
with me. out of all the hours thinking somehow, i've lost my mind
I been talking in my sleep, pretty soon they'll come to get me.
Yeah, they're taking me away but whatever it is, soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how i use to be :)

Never Had a Dream Come True

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa finally lahhhh dapat jugak!
i couldnt blog for few days cus i CANT log in to
my acc. i was just thinking nak buat blog baru lagi
cus i really got fed up on trying and trying and trying.
mcm bodoh je -.- so i dont know what i press
sini sana then tiba tiba boleh log in sudah. babi lah
mendalah nie. geram aku. GRRRR. anywayyyyyyyyy,
my life is so much better now. tadi pergi tengok/baca
blog Neesha, pasal dia sama bf dia break. awww babe, i
tumpang sedihhh. but whoaaaaa girl, you are so strong,
and and you know the part where you said yang you are
just fifteen and kenapa have to be so gila babi serious,
something like that, and the part mana you kata
" enjoy life to the fullest max " tu kannn? wow.
so inspired dohh. haha -.- anyways, to be precise, i'm still
not yet fully okay with the break up thing with ehem ehem
but what to do, everything changed and it CANNOT be fixed no
matter what so, break je lah. haha. no. i'm not planing
on having one right now. malas nak fikir banyak banyakkkkkk lah,
menyampah aku. hahah. ala, bak kata Neesha, enjoy life kan?
yeeessshhhhhhh. i'm so doing that with every chances i get, pssstttt.
*which is all the time? *
hahaha, whatever. thats life. whatever happens, happens lah kan?
lagi pun, nothing last forever :) hmmmmm, okay, school? VERY boring!
hahaha pegi sekolah, cakap cakap then baca story book while listening
to musics then go makan makan, then balik kelas tidur then bgun pegi
lunch lagii. then gossip gosssip, stop kejap, tidur balik and go back home.
haiihhhh. apa yang best sangat haaa? well, atleast dapat jumpa kawan la
kan. haha. anyways, ohhh satu lagi. gila rasa guilty dohhhh. i'm like so close
ngn my so called bestie punya ex. i mean, okay its nothing but it feels so wrong.
tapi bila i come to think of it kan, fuck. she's close with my ex! so what should
i be scared of? ahhhh. whatever. rasa bersalah. mcm buat dosa gila besar je -.-
so uhhhhh, nothing much. just the same old boring story of mine. but
before apa apa lah kan, i just want YOU to know that
i'm doing so much more better without you! i dont miss you and i dont
love you like i used to :) ohhh annnd ooohhhh, i am sooooooo moving on,
alright?

thats all :)

will be back in a short while. byeee ahhh

Barney is a Dinasour?

ABC QUESTIONS :

ABOUT YOU
A - Available : nope && yes :p
B - Birthday : 24 november 1994
C - Crushing on : seriously, nobody :)
D - Drink you last had : ice tea
E - Easiest person to talk to : Cousins <3
F - Favourite song : too many :/
G - Gummy bears or Gummy worms : Gummy bears
H - Hometown : Shah Alam
I - In love with : me myself and i.
J - Juggle : nowayyyyyyyyy
K - Killed someone : heck no. but wished to. now. here :)
L - Longest car ride : to Perlis and Penang. ugh
M - Milkshake flavour : chochochochochochlateeeee <3
N - Number of siblings : 2
O - One wish : to have as many wish as i wished for. wheee~
P - Person you last called : Aiman. grrr
R - Reason to smile : uhm? idk.
S - Song you last heard : Goodbye- Kristina D.
V - Vegetables : some of 'em only
W - Worst habit : too many. haaahaaa
X - X-rays you had : lung x-ray
Y - Yoyos are : not really into it
Z - Zodiac sign : Saggi ;)

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

Spell your name without vowels : Chls mr
What colour do you wear most : white
What are you listening to? : nothing :/
Are you happy with your life right now? : Y to the E to the S
What is your favourite class in school? : none?
When do you start back at school? : yesterday? today? tomorrow?
Are you outgoing : depends?
Favourite pair of shoes : sandals?
Where do you wish you were right now? : with my cousins :( miss 'em so much

THE CANS

Can you dance? : yes
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? : errr, i donttttt know
Can you whistle? : pfffftttt, indeed
Write with both hands : No
Walk with your toes curled : ouch. no

THE DO'S

Do you believe there is life on other planets? : no. wait. i dont know
Do you believe in miracles? : not sure
Do you believe in magic : 50 - 50 %
Love at first sight : i dont know. HAH! definitely NO! :p *marah nie.
Do you think there's a Satan? : yarh. me la. haha
Do you believe in Santa? : hahahahahahahahahaha no
Do you know how to swim? : ok ok lah
Do you think you can handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows? :no no no no no no

THE HAVE'S

Have you been on a plane? : Yes. many times
Have you ever asked someone out? : dengan tak malunya, Yes.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? : yes yes yes yes yes
Have you ever been to the ocean? : yeah
Have you ever painted your nails? : just a few days ago :p

THE WHAT'S

What is the temperature outside? : hot, warm?
What radio station do you listen to? : Fly, Hitz, Red, Lite
What was the last restaurant you ate at? : Concorde Hotel
What was the last thing you bought? : Snacks
Who was the last person you took a picture of? : Friends.
What is the time and date now? : 12:11 / 28.October.2009

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out? : Yes
Ever cried yourself to sleep? : Yes
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? : Yes
Ever cried over the opposite sex? : Yes
Do you cry when you get injury? : yes
Do certain songs make you cry? : Yes

HAPPY SECTION

Are you a happy person? : yeah. can say that
What can make you happy? : cousins. i'm in love with them<3 haha
Do you wish you were happier? : yes!
Can music make you happy? : depends :)

LOVE SECTION

How many times have you had your heart broken? : i dont know. couldnt count
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them? : yep.

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair colour? : erm, a lil bit of brown, then red, and some black. hah -.-
Current piercings : Ears; 5
Have any tattoos? : coming soon :)
Eye colour : Dark brown, verry

IN A LOVER

Girl or guy? : guy lah
Favourite eye colour : blue or maybe green. nah, it doesnt matter lah
Short or long hair : both
Height : Tall
Best clothing : erm, anything?

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail? : almost?
Mooned someone? : huh?
Thrown up in a store? : nayh. wait. yes. haha
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today? : hahaha. yes
Gone skinny dipping? : No

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke : Coke
McDonald's or Burger King : McDonal's
Single or Group Dates : Single
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries : Strawberries
Meat or Veggies : Both
TV or Movie : both :D
Guitar or Drums : Guitar
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Chinese or Mexican : MEXICAN!
Cheerios or Corn Flakes : HONEYSTARS!!
Cake or pie : cake


People I'm Gonna Tag:
all of you.

have you ever wish you hear siren of an ambulance,
wake up in the E.R and hear the doctor say

" she isn't going to make it "

just so you know who really cares about you?





because i do.

that was then, this is now.

i wish i saved all the tears that
i have cried for you &&&,

drown you in them :)

he says, she says

& she said "you're crazyy!"
& he said,

" only for you, baby "

Sebenarnya, diriku masih mengharapkan mu.

everytime i see you, my heart jumps of joy that
i can never explain. you are so much more than what
i ever wanted.

the day that i met you again, i felt soooo alive.
i couldnt believe my eyes that it was you i'm seeing.
all these years, months, weeks, days, i was really hoping
to meet you again. and now that i saw you, i just wanna
see you again. i remember us being in the same class,
us having the same feelings, and all. i just cant believe that
its you! yes, AI.EM.AE.EN, its youu. you were like my first love.
two days ago, i met you at the park. can we bring that day
back around again? cause i miss you....
*when you calling me 'sayang'
*when you screamed to the top of your lungs that i belong to you
*when you look me in the eye
*and mostly, being with you

<3

all day long,

yesterday, sorang lagi. Damia, punya lah dia text
aku beria ia nak datang sekolah today. aku pun datang je lahh
tengok tengok dia tak datang. bodoh lah kau. kau tengok la
satu hari nanti aku kenekan kau jugak. teeheee. haha
tak pernah aku rase bosan kat sekolah sampai macam ni.
after break, laki, perempuan and cikgu, tidur sampai lunch.
ada yang tidur atas lantai lah, atas locker lah. meja, kerusi and all.
before that, semua gila gila active, ada yang gelak kuat
sampai principle masuk marah kitorng. ada yang gambling.
haish. memang aku ckap mcm mcm lah ade. sampai lepas break,
masuk kelas, wahhhhh. sejukknyaaaaa. so si gadis gadis lah
duluan yang tidur. boys? haha. they'll never have fun without us,
so they slept. too. lunch time! semua turun dengan muka baru bangun.
students lain pun hairan kenapalaaahhh kami ni lemah semacam today.
and so, after lunch, everyone is back to normal :D except um,
some of.. them? so that was school punya story.

* * * * *

sampai rumah punya story pulak,

i just got home. and got into my room. what a surprise Zafreil was
waiting for me. and so we talked and talked. he told me about someone
spreading rumours bout me. which was his verrryyyyy verrryyy own
best friend. *he got into a fight with him cus of making BAD stories bout me.
he fought and fought dengan T just because of me. bayangkan la,
gaduh dengan bestie sendiri demi aku tauuuu :) awwwww, so sweet of
Zaf taking care of me :) too bad he's someone i can never be with. GRRRR
why la Zaf whyyyy? hahaahaa. any chick that gets to be his girl would be
so damn lucky lah. seriously. anyway Zaf, thanks. i syg you alot tauuu :)

anyway.
so yes, i am off. to eat. again
bye

Trouble is a Friend,

so theres this friend of mine. best friend. as people
would say. she's soooooo obsessed about my current
ex boyfriend. you know who lah. i just dont know/understand
why does she HAD TO talk about him everytime we meet.
i'm soooooooooo fucking annoyed with the BOTH of them, seriously.
i just got fed up with his attitude and hers either. but what to do?
dua dua satu kepala. eh, kau nak mamat tu, just amik lah.
aku tak kesah. cause aku takde feelings lg kat mamat tu dah.
buang mase aku jeeeeee. ishhhhhh. just aku nak mintak, STOP la
cakap pasal dia. kau tahu kan betape mendalamnyeeee perasaan
benci aku kat mamat tuh. ish. menyampah aku tiap kali dengar kau
sebut nama dia. takde orang lain lg ke yang tinggal? haihhhhh. tak paham.
you keep asking my friends, cousins or who ever i'm close with bout the reason
i broke up ngn mamat tuh. selagi tak dapat jawapan selagi tu hati kau
tak tenang kan? perempuan murahan jenis ape kau ni? what the fuck?
no wonder lah none of you so called ex-bestie tak dapat tahan ngan you kan?
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. takpe. i just have to wait for a few more weeks
and i'll never ever forever will see/talk/go out with you, ever again!
oh ya, one more, you adding my ex and his gf? it must have made him think
that i'm the one who asks you to do so. but obviously, NO. i dont wanna
know anything about them or anything that has to do with him.
nape kau desperate sangat ha? kau tak malu ke? dah dia reject kau,
then kau lagi terhegeh hegeh nak add dye la, nak comment dye la, nak
ni and tu ngn dye laaaahhh. walao. kalau aku tempat kau, aku taktau nak
sembunyi muka aku kat mane :S gila tak malu sial kauu. tak pasal pasal
aku yang kene but whatever it is, i hate both of you :)

fuck you very very much

saying it like how it is.

one day, you're gonna wake up and realise that i was the one
but when that day comes, i'll be waking up with the guy who
already knew.

&&&,


from now on, when you come to think of me, just remember
that i could have been the best thing that you ever had :)

21 Oct.

i went to school yesterday. was dead bored gila babi kat rumah.
school was "fun" heheh -.- no. it was bored. but lucky thing ada
friends la. tu pun sikit je. GRRR. so, i brought my camera yesterday.
Me and Celine camwhoring the whole day. LOL. took pictures
ala ala professional -.- haihh. pictures will be uploaded soon. i promise.
for now, i cant find that thing to connect here and there then the button
pun.. heh.. sesat lagi :/ saturday keluar Pavi! haha :p poyonyeee la aku.
why didnt i go to school today? i'm so bored at home. alone. aishhh.
arrggghhh. i'm still mad at you motherfucking bitch. you just cant stay
out of my way. cant you? argh. whatever lah. i dont care. not anymore.
haaaaaa! i got back my phone after 3 months kena confiscated! wahhhh.
haha. so what? big deal :p

so um, anyway,
i'm so hungry. bye bye. i'm off to eattttttttt! :D

Trying not to fake it.

New Blog.
New Day.
New ME.

same feelings

mostly,

i'm starting everything all over again
cus i'm done with my past. they're meant to
be forgotten.

so.. this IS my new life now :)

and i'm happy. Very happy.