you're worth it. but i blew it all up.

i knew this two guys since we were little. we were best friends and sometimes
we hated each other till we wanna strangle one another till death -,- okay. we
knew everything about each other. well, not really lah. but our parents were
more than best friends. more like brothers and sisters. but that isnt the point.
so one day, something went wrong and we didnt get to see each other for a long time.
until this year. we went to the place we always go for a New Years' Celebration.
i heard about them two years ago. something happened. but then i couldnt go and
meet them cus i was in the middle of something. so anyway, back to New Year,
i secretly had a huge crush on his younger brother. we talked and we danced.
and luckily my cousin had his phone number. and they texted. so this one night, he
asked my cousin for my Myspace. and he added me. and so, i saw his eldest brothers'
Myspace and added him too. cus what the hell? we were friends since we were both
young. so whatever lah. this younger brother dont really go to Myspace as much as
his eldest brother. and from that moment *i still had a crush on him lah that time*
i just commented his eldest brother and we also chat. few days after or before Valentines
day, he asked for my number cus he's coming to my town to meet his friends. and
he said "oh maybe we could meet somewhere and we catch up about each other"
so i gave him my number. and then i forgot about his brother*younger*. at the same time,
theres this feeling i felt for him. the eldest brother lah. and so did he. we met at my
mum's birthday party. he's younger brother couldnt come cus he had this sailing thing
to do in Penang if i'm not mistaken. so did the eldest brother. but he didnt go. cus
he wanted to see me, too. we had a great time. that was when i knew i was crazily inlove
with him. and so we were together for about 4 months. till one day, our very first
so-called big fight. we didnt talk to each other for 3 days. i tried to say i'm sorry to him in
a text but he didnt reply. and for that, i thought he gave up on me. on the second day,
which was on Mothers' Day, i met someone. and we got together. in one of the days,
the eldest brother, texted me and asked me about the guy i was with then. and it was the
worst day of my life. it was all misunderstood. i've got all the explaination that i wanted
to hear. and right on that day till now, i still regret. he was too good to be treated like
that. he was too good to be true. he was one in a million. he was the one i ever wanted.
he was just my everything. and he is still. and i swear it was all just misunderstanding.
and now, he had this impression that i'm a player. yeah, once a player always a player
right? but thats just not me. i'd give up anyone i'm with just to get back with you
again. but i'm just too little too late right? i'm sorry you :( i never want this to happen to
us. and just so you know, i never stop regretting. even when i left you for that guy, i still
do think about you. i still do care about you and i still do love you. but the thing is..


i just dont know how to win your heart again though i tried to be close to you again.
you got over me. and i did not yet. youre avoiding me, i can see. for every pain i caused
you, i'm sorry.


even my friends were so happy we were together. and my mum, she never stop
saying i was lucky to have you.

but..


i left the one i truly love which was you for some son of a bitch who only
knows to cause me problems.

ps/ you know who you are. cus we were both young when i first saw you.

Hugs and Kisses, Chelsea Amira.
X O X O.

sorry if theres some mistake or what so ever,
i'm just too tired to re-read. i'll do it tomorrow :)